With the San Diego mayor’s sexual harassment charges splashed across the news, I couldn’t help but think about an article I wrote several years ago about gender in the workplace. So, here it is.
When my Father was 83 years old and retired, he was volunteering at a sheriff’s department in a city in Florida. His job was to help find stolen bicycles. As he aged, he began to shuffle his feet. He went to physical therapy to help him learn how to walk without shuffling. One day after a physical therapy session, he reported to the sheriff’s office to do his volunteer work. He commented to a female co-worker that she had a nice walk. She immediately filed a sexual harassment complaint against him. Have we gone that far off the deep end with gender issues in the workplace?
On the other end of the spectrum, I have to admit that I’ve had my own experiences with gender issues, being propositioned, and actually grabbed and kissed. While we like to think that competence is the common denominator, is it? What is okay to do? What isn’t okay in the name of developing business relationships between the genders? As a consultant working with many different organization cultures over the years, I have my own perceptions but I wanted to check out others’ thoughts. I interviewed a number of clients and colleagues. Here is their take.
Some companies have explicit policies about such behaviors so employees tend to be more careful about their actions. Other companies do not have such policies so it falls to an individual’s moral and ethical compass to determine where the line is in terms of appropriate behavior. Often times, it has to do with the comfort level of the relationship between the two individuals. I’m told that it is acceptable for men to open doors and pullout chairs for female co-workers and customers, “southern politeness.”
One colleague commented that men tend toward manipulative behavior while women tend toward provocative dress to influence the relationship. He explained that, on a personal level, such female dress tends to do just the opposite. Instead of turning up the testosterone response, it elicits a, “I know what you are doing and don’t take me for a fool,” reaction. Others say that men don’t have to act differently because business is a man’s game and they know the rules. And women are still trying to figure out the rules so they use their gender if they perceive it can work to level the playing field.
Yet another person told me of a female vice-president who the men knew that if you got her in the “right” out of work environment and gave her a few glasses of wine, you could get otherwise inaccessible information or favors. And, yes, some men still hire “eye candy” as assistants which fuel the company grapevine.
The bottom line is that most organizations are still run by white males who make the rules for success. White males are perceived as able to do the job until proven otherwise. Everyone else is viewed as unable to do the job until proven that they can succeed. Studies have shown that women, in general, are more effective than men at multitasking, collaboration, partnering and using intuition. However, those qualities are not yet fully valued and rewarded in the workplace.
Given this situation, what can we do?
- Both men and women need to build business relationships that don’t cross the line. Know your company’s policies, use sound judgment and common sense. Don’t put yourself in a one-on-one situation inside or outside of work that may lead to crossing that line.
- Women need to learn the rules of the game. They should determine ways acceptable to them to play in order to succeed. What is reality in the company? What are the unspoken rules? They need to develop a trusting relationship with their supervisors so they can get regular, honest feedback. They also should develop mentoring relationships to guide them through their careers and to help navigate the land mines.
- Both genders could focus on changing the company culture so that all types of competence are valued. Understand that it is a long process.
Especially in this casual workplace environment of diversity and multiple generations, companies don’t have the luxury of valuing only one gender. They need “all hands on deck” contributing at the optimum level. Focus on skills, abilities and performance not on whether “they look like me,” to determine how to behave in the business relationship.
